because i'm too lazy for pictures.

it'd come later. 

For now, its just gonna be words.

Lately, I haven't been seeing the importance of Christmas. Or birthdays. Previously it has always been a big deal. But of late, it has been just dates to me. Arbitrary dates. Because no one can say for sure that Baby Jesus was in a manger on 25th December, or that an angel appeared to Mary on 25th March. Birthdays are the same. As long as you get one day in the whole year when people celebrate you for who you are, and appreciate you, I don't see why it has to be on 21st December.

I still feel the same way. But as I spend my Christmas eve and Christmas writing holiday cards to everyone important, I find myself realizing how important some people are to me and how much I have under appreciated each one of you. I find myself writing things like "I know we haven't met up in awhile, but I still treasure you and thank God for you", a few times too many. Truth is, its not because we have conflicting schedules or because we have no time. Its also because how our lives have changed. Changed such that what is happening in the other person's life is something that cannot be comprehended emotionally, but cognitively. And it sucks when you cannot feel how someone, whom  you love dearly and deeply, is feeling. And that stops me from meeting you, because of how I can't understand you.

I don't see where I am going with this, either. But I guess what I'm trying to say is this. Christmas and birthdays are important because it gives you the opportunity to remember those who love you, and those that you love. The real ones. Not the ones that say it but are hollow with the actions. But the ones that keep you in prayer, hide it when they're disappointed, and still love you without conditions. Those are the people I want to keep in my life. And I know I don't say it enough. But I love you and I treasure each one of you :)

There is so much good to be thankful for that I so often turn a blind eye on. 

On another note, I am glad that another chapter of my life closes. A chapter that was headed for doom from the start. I don't believe in regrets because with every wrong turn, lessons are learnt. Too often, we are told to listen to our hearts. I still believe in it. But the head can never be totally ignored. We are logical and emotional creatures and elusive happiness can only be found when both the head and the heart are in agreement.

SO. To hell with anything that brings tears and cheers to positivity.

Blessed CHRISTmas to all :)

Are you kidding me? His mum was filming it?

Someone please tell this guy you can only do this if you are female. 

***

Today was our first Netball match for Interhall and we won Hall 14 27-11. Everyone did pretty well and kudos to all the hall 11 netballers :) Finally got the old bones workin' after months and months of junk food in front of the telly. And it. Was. Not. Funny. Seriously, I am super shagged after playing 4 quarters and I've never ached like that in a long, long while. I can safely say I am the least fit person on the team. But thanks to everyone else, we played a fantastic game and won by a pretty safe margin. The boys were a riot. But what can you expect from boys.

IH is ssoo much fun and I love playing all these sports. People may whine and groan at the thought of  having to work to get points to stay in hall but to me, playing my heart out at the games is not a chore at all and I thoroughly enjoy all the bloodsweattears moments. I may not be the best at playing the games, but in this period, it really does bring people together and in hall eleven, you only see laughs and encouragements, very rarely tempers and blames. But something tells me its probably not the right time to be putting in so much effort here, and giving up all the things that I'm suppose to do before I leave. I guess there must be a balance to be struck and finding it is still taking time. 

Meanwhile, while I'm still here, I'm only gonna fill my life with positivity. There is no time for bad blood and pessimistic thoughts, because they so easily overwhelm you. I am gonna eat all the Singaporean food and do all these Singaporean things. The other day, I went to botanic gardens and its brilliant! Prolly what I imagine Utopia or the Garden of Eden to look like honestly. I can't understand how people find Singapore boring.

Life is good now. And perhaps better if our room isn't that messy/smelly and if the boys weren't point it out. 

(Excuse me if the writing sucks today but I'm in a mellow/shag mood and the brain isn't really working.)

half full, baby, half full.

Everything that could go wrong today, did. 

But today we learn a new term: Yhprum's Law. Which, ssoo innovatively, is Murphy spelt backwards, and it states that "Everything, that can work, will work". 

If it isn't obvious enough, I'm a huge proponent of positivity and I don't take things serious enough and am always lost in my hippie-happiness. So today's rant would be about Yhprum's Law being at work in every situation in which you see Murphy's hand. Just so you can see why its so much better to always look on the bright side!

Murphy's Law: Bad planning and miscommunication ended up in me going to Mambo to meet 3 different groups of friends. Situation was such that I had to spend time with all of them in the little time that I was there.

Yhprum's Law: Fortunately Sandy and Alvin came along because Calvin was a no-show and it would have been me, Julie and Caleb and that would have been a bummer.

Murphy's Law: Ending up losing my car keys at wine bar. (Yup, some things never change.)

Yhprum's Law: Found it in at the Lost and Found and got to practice the walking in heels.

Murphy's Law: Prepared to drive out and realised I had no money in the Cash Card for parking. And circled around the car park lot looking for a top up machine with little luck. Finally spotted a sign that says its located at the lobby which we just walked past thrice (while searching for the keys).

Yhprum's Law: Alvin and I agreed that the hotel was a nice place to take a dump at if you ever feel like it at zouk and don't wanna do your business while tolerating the stench of puke.

Murphy's Law: When I was sending Caleb back to camp, I was talking to him in the car until the battery ran out and I couldn't start the car. We were just outside SAFTI and I was at a bus stop. The sun was rising and buses were starting to run and I was stuck. 

We had no clue how to jumpstart the car and we, I mean Caleb, was trying his best to remedy the situation by flagging down cabs and asking if they had jump leads. Me, on the other hand, found the whole situation pretty hilarious and started toying with his G9. It is worth mentioning here that Caleb's pretty responsible and he must have been really annoyed at me at that time. He was trying really hard to get the car started again and at one point, even called Automobile Association, and was willing to fork out more than a hundred bucks so fucking Automobile Association could fucking cheat our money and repair the car. 

Meanwhile, I was sitting in the car and telling him things are gonna be okay. I was also trying to remedy the situation by taking photos of everything. In other words, not helping at all.

The streets looking pretty empty at bout 5am, before the battery died.

Caleb stopping cabs to ask for jump leads.

"Fuck this shite."

(Nah, he didn't really say that. But it was close to what he was feeling after stopping 

countless of cabs who didn't have jump leads and I was still "fralala-ing", as he puts it.)

Buses were starting to operate and we needed to get out of the bus stop fast.

The streets now starting to look pretty bright. (Compare with first picture)

When it started to get really bright, I decided to call my dad and he came along to save the day with his brilliant electrical engineering skilled hands which started the engine without using leads. Yupe, so that marked the end of our adventure. 

And what about Yhprum's Law in this, you say. 

Well, at least it gave me something to blog about.

phew.

I'm glad its over. And I can move on with my life. 

lets go!

we are compelled to do what we have been forbidden.

Sunset behind after a u-turn. and if you look really closely, 

you can see the droplets on the window panes :)

While being stuck in traffic for more than 2 hours today and heading towards the west (west-er than pulau ntu which is saying alot), there was this awesome sunset in front of me. And it was raining. And when its raining, the only music I listen to is dashboard. And somehow, the very weird mix of Carrabba's tunes, the orange yellow hue ahead and the droplets on the panes, it reminded me of You and I got to praying. 

***

Oh, and I told Train I'd blog about our Yoga session today. With all due respect to Train, who found the session very useful, Yoga to me is plain dumb. I do admit that I'm not the most flexible person, so maybe that's why I didn't gain the full pleasure of the entire session. But the poses that they ask you to do, cobra stance, eye exercises and rubbing your palms together to put it on yr eyes, chest, thighs, makes no sense to me. At all. 

After a lot of the stretching on our feet, we were asked to lie on our backs and do some MORE stretching. At this point, the instructor told us to close our eyes and concentrate on our breathing. Obviously, the inevitable occurred... I fell asleep. And even started dreaming. And I stopped doing any of the (useless) exercises. When everyone got on their feet to do MORE stretching, I was still prostrated on the floor. Deep in meditation. Train had to shake me awake while everyone was standing up and I was still on the floor. HAHAHA it was a real laugh. I couldn't take anything seriously after that and I think everyone around me was secretly sniggering. :) 

I know Yoga has its benefits, and my mum swears by it. But for me, I'm glad I did try it once to know that I'm never going back. Maybe I'm just too uptight that I can't clear my mind to allow the serenity, calm and relaxation to gently coax my mind into surrendering myself to the poses that are suppose to release the wound up tension in me. 

OR, maybe not.

shake, shake, shake, shake the frame of this house.

Pink Sperry Boat Shoes on ebay.

It has all been good.

(Sandy's right when she said this blog is gonna be stagnant after the exams end. Half-right, at least.)

Tuesday, 25.11

Right after the torrid forensic science paper, I went home to see the folks after a week of absence. Had dinner with my mum which was pretty much a good way to end the exams; just letting time pass as both of us sat at the coffeeshop and talked, over chicken rice :) Of course, I spent time with my two favourite felines. Realizing how fat cotton is becoming and how genie is limping more as she grows, but still ever-so-loyal. And they are even loyal to each other, always giving each other a bath before they sleep. I forget these things about my cats. If anyone told you cats aren't loyal, they obviously haven't had my cats.

Came back to hall to see the Rest. All 9 of us headed for supper at Choa Chua Kang, on two bikes and a car, no less. Realising how much I miss having supper with ziqiang and zhiwei together and how much bullshit we talk about over supper. Came back for the age-old tradition of poker and ended the night with surfing the net till 633 the next morning. Its amazing how much pleasure I derive from doing non-productive activities.

Throughout the day, it was the same weird feeling that I felt. The absence of a rush to get somewhere and do something. It was nice, just hanging out with some of my very favourite people and falling into the rut called routine which is really a nice rut to be in :)

Wednesday, 26.11

The plan that day was actually for me to meet my mum and bring the folks, from the home she is helping at, out for Quantum of Solace. My mum volunteers at this place that helps these people that're disabled and are on wheelchairs. Plus, she also volunteers at this home for young teenage girls. She's that kinda person who gives without expecting, and would do it just because she enjoys it. Unfortunately, some bureaucratic shite happened and she couldn't bring them out. So we went swimming instead and had a good twenty plus laps together. 

After which, I went to zouk and my question is this: do all boys, if single, not give up a chance for a one night stand? Anyhows, it was a blast and so many friends were there which is always one of the highlights of partying: seeing people that you would want to see but haven't got the chance to, otherwise. It was nice seeing you lanz, tiffany, joel, tabitha, wen han, the cs folks, navin and the rest.

Okay, this blog is not gonna be a reiteration of all the mundane happenings in my life. That would be a drag to read. Events aren't events without thoughts and memories attached. These few days there're so many thoughts running through my mind and my lesson is this: its odd how you learn more about life and people when you're not busy mugging. Which is ironic because the lessons about life and people are so much more important than learning about media laws and media history. Sigmund Freud and Karl Marx do not add anything into my life except pseudo knowledge. 

I am also starting to appreciate how much I enjoy being alone. I don't know if its a good thing because December is a month that I gotta meet up with all these people before I leave. But being alone recharges you, sorts out your thoughts and weirdly, gives you strength. I forget how much I miss reading a book to sleep, writing in the diary, watching endless tv or eating alone. I know its creepy how I like doing all these things but its really serene and as samuel calls it, its 'me-time' which everyone needs. Anyhows, these are my random thoughts which doesn't make any sense but I had to write down.

I love the boys in my hall (ziqiang, zhiwei, keesiang, kiangiap and alvin) and their hearts. They are the kinda boys that any girl would be lucky to have. They are the kinda boys that as they are walking, talking, absorbed in conversation, they can stop for a girl in a wheelchair and offer to carry her up the stairs.

I love how reading puts you in a whole new perspective and mindset, seeing the world through another person's eyes. 

I love how the house looks after it has been painted. And the smell of fumes of paint ;)

I love how partying, as tiring as it is, allows you to let down you hair and for one night, be consumed by music.

I love my friends. Each and everyone.

I love how even in sg, I see leaves turning red.

I love how exercising feels.

I love the smell of petrol. Maybe Malaysian petrol more.

I cannot understand what drives boys to do all these senseless things and cannot fathom how testosterone is such a impetus; more so than the head.

I cannot understand how my friends forgive me when I'm a brat.

I cannot understand how its so easy for me to like someone when I first meet them. After which, I see all these flaws and its a struggle to accept them whole. And once that struggle is complete, its so easy to appreciate that person in all his totality. I firmly believe that if a relationship is not tested, it isn't a relationship at all.

I cannot understand how I don't spend enough time with the folks because it is really satisfying.

Most of all, the most perplexing question that has been bugging me: I don't understand how I can be so excited about going to sweden at the start, but start to dread it now. I don't wanna leave.

(i know how this is an extremely long rant. but its apt for my extremely long absence.)